"I Call It Love" - Stalking/Harassment

Stalking or harassment are not nice things to experience, I can tell you that first hand.

A girl I used to know seems to have this strange obsession with me. We were friends for a short while but we sort of drifted apart. People always used to tease me that she had a crush on me because she got quite jealous whenever I spoke to boys. She always used to stroke my leg and call me 'beautiful' and one time when she slept over at my house she went to sleep on the floor and I woke up with her next to me on my bed.

After not really seeing her or speaking to her I found out she'd been telling people that we'd made lots of plans and I'd let her down at the last minute, along with some other things which weren't true. I just ignored them and said it wasn't true. Then other people started to stop talking to me because this girl had continued to tell people stories. I also found out that she'd decided to apply to the same uni as me although she'd told me previously that they didn't do the course she wanted.

Then a few months later she started sending me emails, non of which I replied to. First off they were just thing like 'how've you been. what are you up to?'; then she began accusing me of ruining her life, saying how horrible I'd been to her and that she deserved an apologie'. Then every few months I'd get a message form her asking me to talk to her and that she understood if we couldn't be friends and that she wouldn't send me another message if I didn't reply. I think I got 3 or 4 emails saying the same over 2 months.

Then I didn't hear from her for at least 3 months. I thought she'd finally given up and moved on, but then I found out she was constantly asking other people what I was up to and how I was.

I joined facebook at the start of uni, thinking nothing off it, and almost instantly I had a friend request from her with the message 'no hard feelings, times have changed xxx'. I ignored it, thinking she might get the message.I had a few more after that one with 'we can be friends now' and 'I wont bother you again if you ignore this'. I thought she had got the message, then I met a friend in town who said this girl had been asking about me again and wanted to know all about my boyfriend.

I had another friend request off her last week, which I again ignored, but this time I sent a request that she was blocked from my profile. I'm hoping this might get rid of her once and for all. However, if I do hear from her again I am seriously considering a restraining order.

The whole experience has been quite distressing for me, I lots quite a few people who I thought were my friends because of the stories she was telling and it upset me thinking that I might see her and have to deal with her. Thankfully some people have been supportive, although I think some of them still see it as a bit of a joke. But if they were in my shoes they would understand the way I feel.

I would say that stalking and harassment are 'being bad' because of the distress that they cause to the person who their actions are being subjected to. I cannot see how either of these things could be considered anything else but bad.

BBC Stalking Advice - Worth a look if you are being stalked

Stalking Behaviour - Another useful website with stalking behaviours, definitions, resources and links

How I stalked my girlfriend - This article just shows how easy it is nowadays for stalkers to track their victims